<%
gotome=Request.ServerVariables("script_name")
sServer=Request.ServerVariables("SERVER_NAME")
if instr(sServer,"games.23ae.com") then response.redirect "http://www.23ae.com/games"
sDSN="DRIVER={MySQL ODBC 3.51 Driver};SERVER=mysql251.secureserver.net;DATABASE=23AEGames;USER=23AEGames;PASSWORD=pooponastick23;OPTION=3;"
Session.Timeout=60
EchelonAccess=0
EchelonID=session("EchelonID") 'Get session ID data
if isnumeric(EchelonID) then 'If session not null (else cint will error)
if EchelonID>0 then EchelonAccess=1 'if session ID exists, log in
end if 'if session ID data does not exist, EchelonAccess still =0 (no attempt)
if EchelonAccess<>1 then 'Check for cookie
EchelonCookieUser=Request.Cookies("GameUser") 'Get the username cookie
if len(EchelonCookieUser)>0 then 'If cookie not empty (else trim will fail)
aEchelonUserData=GetEchelonUser(EchelonCookieUser) 'get user info from DB
if isarray(aEchelonUserData)=False then
EchelonAccess=2 'username not found - do you wish to register?
else 'if username found in db
EchelonCookiePassword=Request.Cookies("GamePass") 'Get the password cookie too
if EchelonCookiePassword=trim(aEchelonUserData(2,0)) then 'if password cookie matches database
session("EchelonID")=aEchelonUserData(0,0) 'write to session
EchelonAccess=1 'log in
else 'if password incorrect
EchelonAccess=3 'failed attempt - password reminder
EchelonSuspectID=EchelonCookieUser
end if
end if
end if 'if cookie does not exist, EchelonAccess still =0 (no attempt)
end if
if EchelonAccess<>1 then 'Check for login data
EchelonFormUser=trim(Request.Form("GameUser")) 'Get username from form
EchelonFormPassword=trim(Request.Form("GamePass")) 'Get the password data too
if len(EchelonFormUser)>0 then 'If formfield not null (else trim will fail)
aEchelonUserData=GetEchelonUser(EchelonFormUser) 'get user info from DB
if isarray(aEchelonUserData)=False then
EchelonAccess=2 'username not found - do you wish to register?
EchelonFormRegister=trim(Request.Form("Register"))
if EchelonFormRegister="Yes" then
if len(EchelonFormPassword)<3 then
EchelonAccess=4
else
Set Conn = CreateObject("ADODB.Connection")
sSQL = "INSERT INTO C_Users (nLevel,nDisabled,sUsername,sPassword,sDisplayName,dCreate,dMod) " 'add user to DB
sSQL = sSQL & "VALUES (1,0,'"&EchelonFormUser&"','"&EchelonFormPassword&"','"&EchelonFormUser&"',Now(),Now())"
Conn.Open sDSN
Conn.Execute(sSQL)
Conn.close
aEchelonUserData=GetEchelonUser(EchelonFormUser)
session("EchelonID")=aEchelonUserData(0,0) 'write to session
EchelonFormRememberMe=trim(Request.Form("RememberMe"))
if EchelonFormRememberMe="Yes" then
Response.Cookies("GameUser")=EchelonFormUser
Response.Cookies("GameUser").Expires = Date + 1000
Response.Cookies("GamePass")=EchelonFormPassword
Response.Cookies("GamePass").Expires = Date + 1000
end if
EchelonAccess=1 'log in
firsttime=1
end if
end if
else 'if username found in db
if EchelonFormPassword=aEchelonUserData(2,0) then 'if password from form matches database
session("EchelonID")=aEchelonUserData(0,0) 'write to session
EchelonFormRememberMe=trim(Request.Form("RememberMe"))
if EchelonFormRememberMe="Yes" then
Response.Cookies("GameUser")=EchelonFormUser
Response.Cookies("GameUser").Expires = Date + 364
Response.Cookies("GamePass")=EchelonFormPassword
Response.Cookies("GamePass").Expires = Date + 364
end if
EchelonAccess=1 'log in
else 'if password incorrect
EchelonAccess=3 'failed attempt - password reminder - check for add me, say user taken
EchelonSuspectID=EchelonFormUser
end if
end if 'if username found in db
end if 'if login data does not exist, EchelonAccess still =0 (no attempt)
end if
function GetEchelonUser(username)
sSQL="Select nID,sUsername,sPassword,nLevel,nDisabled,sEmail FROM C_Users WHERE sUsername LIKE '"&username&"'"
Set rs = Server.CreateObject("ADODB.RecordSet")
rs.Open sSQL, sDSN, 0, 1 'adOpenForwardOnly, adLockReadOnly
if not rs.eof then aEchelonUserData = rs.GetRows
rs.Close
Set rs = nothing
GetEchelonUser=aEchelonUserData
end function
function GetUserName(nID)
sSQL="Select nID,sDisplayName FROM C_Users WHERE nID="&nID
Set rs = Server.CreateObject("ADODB.RecordSet")
rs.Open sSQL, sDSN, 0, 1 'adOpenForwardOnly, adLockReadOnly
if not rs.eof then
sDisplayName = rs("sDisplayName")
else
sDisplayName = "User Deleted"
end if
rs.Close
Set rs = nothing
GetUserName=sDisplayName
end function
%>
<%
function DiscordianizeNumber(num)
if len(num)=4 then num="0"&num
if len(num)=3 then num="00"&num
if len(num)=2 then num="000"&num
if len(num)=1 then num="0000"&num
DiscordianizeNumber=num
end function
function DateToDiscord(passeddate,additional) 'date must be "dd/mm/yyyy" - additional: 0=just date, 1=just holyday (blank return if not), 2=both 3=just date,time
aOffset = split("0 31 59 90 120 151 181 212 243 273 304 334") 'ignore leap years, since St. Tibbs Day is ignored
aDMonth = split("Chaos Discord Confusion Bureaucracy Aftermath")
nJulian=cint(aOffset(Month(passeddate)-1))+Day(passeddate)
nDDay=nJulian MOD 73
sDMonth=aDMonth(nJulian\73)
if additional=3 then
aCutDate=split(passeddate)
passeddate=aCutDate(0)
stime=aCutDate(1)
end if
nDYear = Year(passeddate) + 1166
sDDate=sDMonth&" "&nDDay&", "&nDYear
if additional>0 then
if sDMonth="Chaos" AND nDDay=5 then sHolyday="
Mungday
"
if sDMonth="Chaos" AND nDDay=37 then sHolyday="
Burrday
"
if sDMonth="Chaos" AND nDDay=50 then sHolyday="
Chaoflux
"
if sDMonth="Chaos" AND nDDay=73 then sHolyday="
Pi Day
"
if sDMonth="Discord" AND nDDay=5 then sHolyday="
Mojoday
"
if sDMonth="Discord" AND nDDay=28 then sHolyday="
Mu-Day
"
if sDMonth="Discord" AND nDDay=50 then sHolyday="
Discoflux
"
if sDMonth="Confusion" AND nDDay=5 then sHolyday="
Syaday/Guliday
"
if sDMonth="Confusion" AND nDDay=23 then sHolyday="
Opposite Day
"
if sDMonth="Confusion" AND nDDay=50 then sHolyday="
Confuflux
"
if sDMonth="Confusion" AND nDDay=57 then sHolyday="
Pi Approx. Day
"
if sDMonth="Bureaucracy" AND nDDay=5 then sHolyday="
Zaraday
"
if sDMonth="Bureaucracy" AND nDDay=50 then sHolyday="
Bureflux
"
if sDMonth="Aftermath" AND nDDay=5 then sHolyday="
Maladay
"
if sDMonth="Aftermath" AND nDDay=50 then sHolyday="
Afflux
"
end if
if additional=0 then sFinalDate=sDDate
if additional=1 then sFinalDate=sHolyday
if additional=2 then sFinalDate=sDDate&sHolyday
if additional=3 then sFinalDate=sDDate&" ("&formatDatetime(sTime,vbshorttime)&")"
DateToDiscord=sFinalDate
end function
function EchelonScoreSelf(score)
nSecond=Second(Now())
Eris=ErisNumber(55)
Eris2=ErisNumber(555)
nSecond=nSecond*Eris
if isnumeric(score) then
score=round(score,0)
else
score=Eris
end if
if nSecond Mod 7=0 then Eris=(Eris-Eris)-Eris
if nSecond Mod 7=0 then Eris2=(Eris2-Eris2)-Eris2
if nSecond Mod 23=0 then Eris=Eris*Eris
if nSecond Mod 23=0 then score=score*Eris
if nSecond Mod 25=0 then score=score-Eris2
if len(score)>3 AND instr(score,"-")=0 then score=0-Eris2
if len(score)>4 AND nSecond Mod 2=0 then score=Eris
if len(score)>4 AND nSecond Mod 2=1 then score=(Eris2-Eris2)-Eris2
EchelonScoreSelf=score
end function
function EchelonScore(score,who) 'who: 0=rating self, 1=rating someone else
score=round(score,0)
nSecond=Second(Now())
Eris=ErisNumber(55)
Eris2=ErisNumber(555)
nSecond=nSecond*Eris
if nSecond Mod 7=0 then Eris=(Eris-Eris)-Eris
if nSecond Mod 7=0 then Eris2=(Eris2-Eris2)-Eris2
if nSecond Mod 23=0 then Eris=Eris*Eris
if len(score)>5 AND who=0 AND instr(score,"-")=0 then score=((score-score)-score)*Eris
if len(score)>5 AND who=1 AND instr(score,"-")=1 then score=(score+score)*Eris
if nSecond Mod 5=0 then score=Eris2-Eris
if nSecond Mod 7=0 then score=(score-score)-score
if nSecond Mod 11=0 then score=score-Eris
if nSecond Mod 17=0 then score=(score+score)-Eris
if nSecond Mod 23=0 then score=score*Eris
if nSecond Mod 42=0 then score=score*Eris2
score=round(score,0)
if len(score)>5 AND nSecond Mod 2=0 then score=Eris2
if len(score)>5 AND nSecond Mod 2=1 then score=(Eris2-Eris2)-Eris2
EchelonScore=score
end function
Function ErisNumber(nHighest)
Randomize
ErisNumber = Int(Rnd * nHighest) + 1
End Function
Function CleanForDB(sContent)
sContent=Replace(sContent,"'","'")
sContent=Replace(sContent,"")
CleanForHTML=sContent
End Function
Function CleanForForm(sContent)
sContent=Replace(sContent," ",vbcrlf)
CleanForForm=sContent
End Function
function GetPointType(nID)
sSQL="Select nID,sTitle FROM C_Type WHERE nID="&nID
Set rs = Server.CreateObject("ADODB.RecordSet")
rs.Open sSQL, sDSN, 0, 1 'adOpenForwardOnly, adLockReadOnly
if not rs.eof then
sTitle = rs("sTitle")
else
sTitle = "Points"
end if
rs.Close
Set rs = nothing
GetPointType=sTitle
end function
Function CountComments(nID)
sSQL="Select COUNT(*) As inttotal from C_Comments where nPlay="&nID
Set rs = Server.CreateObject("ADODB.RecordSet")
rs.Open sSQL, sDSN, 0, 1 'adOpenForwardOnly, adLockReadOnly
numberofcomments=rs("inttotal")
rs.Close
Set rs = nothing
CountComments=numberofcomments
end Function
%>
<%
Function GetRandomScore()
sSQL="Select nPlayer,nPoints,nType from C_Comments order by RAND() LIMIT 1"
Set rs = Server.CreateObject("ADODB.RecordSet")
rs.Open sSQL, sDSN, 0, 1 'adOpenForwardOnly, adLockReadOnly
aRandomComment=rs.GetRows
rs.Close
Set rs = nothing
sSQL="Select nPlayer,nPoints,nType from C_Comments where nPlayer="&aRandomComment(0,0)&" AND nType="&aRandomComment(2,0)
Set rs = Server.CreateObject("ADODB.RecordSet")
rs.Open sSQL, sDSN, 0, 1 'adOpenForwardOnly, adLockReadOnly
aCompiledComments=rs.GetRows
rs.Close
Set rs = nothing
Erase aRandomComment
i=0
points=0
for i=lbound(aCompiledComments,2) to ubound(aCompiledComments,2)
points=points+aCompiledComments(1,i)
next
passback=""&GetUserName(aCompiledComments(0,0))&"
"
Erase aCompiledComments
GetRandomScore=passback
end Function
%>
Discordian Games
<%
function DiscordianizeNumber(num)
if len(num)=4 then num="0"&num
if len(num)=3 then num="00"&num
if len(num)=2 then num="000"&num
if len(num)=1 then num="0000"&num
DiscordianizeNumber=num
end function
function DateToDiscord(passeddate,additional) 'date must be "dd/mm/yyyy" - additional: 0=just date, 1=just holyday (blank return if not), 2=both 3=just date,time
aOffset = split("0 31 59 90 120 151 181 212 243 273 304 334") 'ignore leap years, since St. Tibbs Day is ignored
aDMonth = split("Chaos Discord Confusion Bureaucracy Aftermath")
nJulian=cint(aOffset(Month(passeddate)-1))+Day(passeddate)
nDDay=nJulian MOD 73
sDMonth=aDMonth(nJulian\73)
if additional=3 then
aCutDate=split(passeddate)
passeddate=aCutDate(0)
stime=aCutDate(1)
end if
nDYear = Year(passeddate) + 1166
sDDate=sDMonth&" "&nDDay&", "&nDYear
if additional>0 then
if sDMonth="Chaos" AND nDDay=5 then sHolyday="
Mungday
"
if sDMonth="Chaos" AND nDDay=37 then sHolyday="
Burrday
"
if sDMonth="Chaos" AND nDDay=50 then sHolyday="
Chaoflux
"
if sDMonth="Chaos" AND nDDay=73 then sHolyday="
Pi Day
"
if sDMonth="Discord" AND nDDay=5 then sHolyday="
Mojoday
"
if sDMonth="Discord" AND nDDay=28 then sHolyday="
Mu-Day
"
if sDMonth="Discord" AND nDDay=50 then sHolyday="
Discoflux
"
if sDMonth="Confusion" AND nDDay=5 then sHolyday="
Syaday/Guliday
"
if sDMonth="Confusion" AND nDDay=23 then sHolyday="
Opposite Day
"
if sDMonth="Confusion" AND nDDay=50 then sHolyday="
Confuflux
"
if sDMonth="Confusion" AND nDDay=57 then sHolyday="
Pi Approx. Day
"
if sDMonth="Bureaucracy" AND nDDay=5 then sHolyday="
Zaraday
"
if sDMonth="Bureaucracy" AND nDDay=50 then sHolyday="
Bureflux
"
if sDMonth="Aftermath" AND nDDay=5 then sHolyday="
Maladay
"
if sDMonth="Aftermath" AND nDDay=50 then sHolyday="
Afflux
"
end if
if additional=0 then sFinalDate=sDDate
if additional=1 then sFinalDate=sHolyday
if additional=2 then sFinalDate=sDDate&sHolyday
if additional=3 then sFinalDate=sDDate&" ("&formatDatetime(sTime,vbshorttime)&")"
DateToDiscord=sFinalDate
end function
function EchelonScoreSelf(score)
nSecond=Second(Now())
Eris=ErisNumber(55)
Eris2=ErisNumber(555)
nSecond=nSecond*Eris
if isnumeric(score) then
score=round(score,0)
else
score=Eris
end if
if nSecond Mod 7=0 then Eris=(Eris-Eris)-Eris
if nSecond Mod 7=0 then Eris2=(Eris2-Eris2)-Eris2
if nSecond Mod 23=0 then Eris=Eris*Eris
if nSecond Mod 23=0 then score=score*Eris
if nSecond Mod 25=0 then score=score-Eris2
if len(score)>3 AND instr(score,"-")=0 then score=0-Eris2
if len(score)>4 AND nSecond Mod 2=0 then score=Eris
if len(score)>4 AND nSecond Mod 2=1 then score=(Eris2-Eris2)-Eris2
EchelonScoreSelf=score
end function
function EchelonScore(score,who) 'who: 0=rating self, 1=rating someone else
score=round(score,0)
nSecond=Second(Now())
Eris=ErisNumber(55)
Eris2=ErisNumber(555)
nSecond=nSecond*Eris
if nSecond Mod 7=0 then Eris=(Eris-Eris)-Eris
if nSecond Mod 7=0 then Eris2=(Eris2-Eris2)-Eris2
if nSecond Mod 23=0 then Eris=Eris*Eris
if len(score)>5 AND who=0 AND instr(score,"-")=0 then score=((score-score)-score)*Eris
if len(score)>5 AND who=1 AND instr(score,"-")=1 then score=(score+score)*Eris
if nSecond Mod 5=0 then score=Eris2-Eris
if nSecond Mod 7=0 then score=(score-score)-score
if nSecond Mod 11=0 then score=score-Eris
if nSecond Mod 17=0 then score=(score+score)-Eris
if nSecond Mod 23=0 then score=score*Eris
if nSecond Mod 42=0 then score=score*Eris2
score=round(score,0)
if len(score)>5 AND nSecond Mod 2=0 then score=Eris2
if len(score)>5 AND nSecond Mod 2=1 then score=(Eris2-Eris2)-Eris2
EchelonScore=score
end function
Function ErisNumber(nHighest)
Randomize
ErisNumber = Int(Rnd * nHighest) + 1
End Function
Function CleanForDB(sContent)
sContent=Replace(sContent,"'","'")
sContent=Replace(sContent,"")
CleanForHTML=sContent
End Function
Function CleanForForm(sContent)
sContent=Replace(sContent," ",vbcrlf)
CleanForForm=sContent
End Function
function GetPointType(nID)
sSQL="Select nID,sTitle FROM C_Type WHERE nID="&nID
Set rs = Server.CreateObject("ADODB.RecordSet")
rs.Open sSQL, sDSN, 0, 1 'adOpenForwardOnly, adLockReadOnly
if not rs.eof then
sTitle = rs("sTitle")
else
sTitle = "Points"
end if
rs.Close
Set rs = nothing
GetPointType=sTitle
end function
Function CountComments(nID)
sSQL="Select COUNT(*) As inttotal from C_Comments where nPlay="&nID
Set rs = Server.CreateObject("ADODB.RecordSet")
rs.Open sSQL, sDSN, 0, 1 'adOpenForwardOnly, adLockReadOnly
numberofcomments=rs("inttotal")
rs.Close
Set rs = nothing
CountComments=numberofcomments
end Function
%>
<%
'EchelonAccess: 0=not attempted, 1=signed in, 2=username wrong, 3=password wrong 4=password too short
sform="
"
sform=sform&"
"
sform=sform&"
"
sform=sform&"Remember Me "
sform=sform&"Register Me "
sform=sform&"
"
if EchelonAccess=1 then
response.write "
"
if firsttime=1 then response.write "Please set up your profile!"
response.write ""
response.write ""
'response.write ""
response.write ""
response.write "
"
elseif EchelonAccess=2 then
response.write "
"
response.write "Username Not Found! Check the Register Me box to create an account"
response.write sform
response.write "
"
elseif EchelonAccess=3 then
response.write "
"
if trim(Request.Form("Register"))="Yes" then
response.write "Sorry! Username is taken. Try another."
else
response.write "PASSWORD INCORRECT!"
if isArray(aEchelonUserData) then
if len(aEchelonUserData(5,0))>1 then
response.write " Send me my password"
else
response.write " No email address on file, so try again."
end if
end if
end if
response.write sform
response.write "
"
elseif EchelonAccess=4 then
response.write "
"
response.write "Password must be 4 characters or more!"
response.write sform
response.write "
"
else
response.write "
"
response.write sform
response.write "
"
end if
%>
<%
response.write "
"
response.write ""
response.write "
"
response.write "
"
if gotome="/games/index.asp" then
response.write "
Top Random Scores
<%
x=1
for x=1 to 5
response.write "
"&GetRandomScore()&"
"
next
%>
Our goal is to create a series of interlocking Discordian GamesK that you can play here in the company of other happy mutants, chaotic pranksters and inane anarchists.
These games will follow in the long and distinguished Discordian Tradition of being completely unfathomable to those unfamiliar with out ways, and contrariwise, will be completely comprehensible to those that are Discordians, yet did not hitherto know this to be the case.
Just register and sign in, and you will be able to merrily play our games while our unpatented Echeton 2300 furiously records and compiles your score using Advanced Discordian Methematics. If you are good enough, you may even appear on our prestigious Top Random Scores board!
If you don’t feel like playing, you should get an account anyway so you can set up a self-important profile, make supercilious comments on player’s moves.... and even influence their scores. Think of the disparagement and humiliation you can heap upon people who are playing and creating as you cynically sit off to the side – it’s just like real life!
Make sure to visit the Next page to see what we have planned for the future and to make suggestions and comments about existing or new games.
"
response.write "
