The Principia Discordia

ACT V: The Malevolent Benediction and Spewing Forth of the Holy Laws
#2: (shouting over the simulated crowd noise): And when Goddess heard the crowds growing restless, She realized they lacked direction.
#3: And direction She gave them! Goddess towered above the confused hordes, and gave them the twenty-three commandments!
(#3 raises his hands dramatically, and simulated crowd noise immediately ceases.)
#1: Thou shalt have other Goddesses before dinner time!
All: Or not!
#4: Thou shalt worship worship worship idols!
All: Or not!
#5: Thou shalt take the Lordís name in vain!
All: And what if we donít GODDAMMIT?!
#3: Thou shalt drink beer and listen to old Black Sabbath albums!
All: Or not!
#2: If participating in the three-legged race at the next family reunion, strive for Honorable Mention!
All: Or not!

#1-#5 simultaneously: KILL! MURDER! MAIM! DESTROY! (x5)
All: Get serious!
#4: Sorry, wrong religion. Thou shalt not commit adulthood!
All: Pretty pleeeeeeeeeeez?!?
#2: Well, maybe, if you eat all your peas. Thou shalt go around stealing people in the face for no reason.
All: I think not!
#3: Agreed. Thou shalt not watch Americas Most Wanted in hopes of seeing thine next-door neighbor.
All: Agreed!
#1: Thou shalt not, under any circumstances, read this sentence aloud.
All: Blasphemer! Blasphemer! Blasphemer!
#5: And if you have enjoyed these commandments, and wish to receive more, send 1-800-666-3747 to the post office box not eligible to VISA or Mastercard owners. Allow $23.93 for delivery, C.O.Dís void with your complimentary gift.
All: Thank you all, and have a nice day!


I, _______________ , of _______________________, City of ___________________, County o_____________, State of ___________, do hereby appoint ____________________, of ________________________________, my true and lawful BOZO IN FACT, for me and in my name, place, and stead, and for my use and benefit, to negotiate and enter into any bizarreness or weirdness in any location and at any time, with such persons and conditions as he shall in his discretion elect; provided that before he exercises any of the powers herein, he obtains my prior approval for such exercise by phone conversation between himself and me.

In the event that this phone conversation, wherein I grant my permission for the performance of strange behavior in my behalf, proves too difficult, too costly, too inopportune, or otherwise inconvenient to obtain, I hereby grant my BOZO IN FACT , at his sole discretion, the right to waive the prior phone call permission clause. I further grant unto my said BOZO IN FACT full power and authority to do every act (Natural and/or Unnatural) necessary and proper or improper to be done in the exercise of the foregoing powers, as fully as I might or could do if personally present.

The POWER OF BOZO shall become effective on _______________ And shall terminate on _________________ or when I get back to town, whichever is sooner.

Signed ______________ Notary_______________
Date ________________ Date ________________
Commission expires __________