In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a bowling alley,
and within this very place, in the year of Our Lady of Discord 3125
(1959*), Eris revealed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the
In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a
Shrine by all Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps
plans a Pilgrimage to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and
therein to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit about it
It is written that when The Corps returns to the Shrine for the
fifth time five times over, then shall the world come to an end:
And Five Days Prior to This Occasion
The Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall
Walk the Streets of Whittier Bearing a
Sign for All Literates to Read thereof:
"DOOM", as a Warning of Forthcoming Doom
to All Men Impending. And He Shall Signal
This Event by Seeking the Poor and
Distributing to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS
and Whittier Shall be Known as The Region
of Thud for These Five Days.
As a public service to all mankind and civilization in general,
and to us in particular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that
planning such a Pilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to
never get around to actually going.
* Or maybe it was 1958, I forget.