= THE POEE BAPTISMAL RITE =
This Mysteree Rite is not required for initiation, but it is
offered by many POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal
1) The Priest and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with
the Initiate in the center facing the Priest. If possible, the
Brothers on the immediate right and left of the Priest should be
Deacons. The Initiate must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he
is truly a human being and not something else in disguise like a
cabbage or something.
2) All persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the
Priest, assume a squatting position and return to a standing position.
This is repeated four more times. This dance is symbolic of the
humility of we Erisians.
3) The Priest begins:
I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles, and degrees,
designations, offices, &tc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-
anametamystikhood of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at
me by the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, The House of
The Rising Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye:
1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE OR SOMETHING?
The initiate answers YES.
2) THATíS TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF? The
initiate answers YES.
3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME PHILOSOPHICALLY
ILLUMINIZED? He answers YES.
4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE HOLEY ERISIAN
MOVEMENT? The initiate answers PROBABLY.
DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200